The letter of the law
by randomfantast
Summary: After a marriage law is passed Draco Malfoy is forced to marry a muggle girl. Hermione Granger feels sorry for his predicament and decides to help him. Together they set out on a quest to find a suitable muggle girl and to integrate Draco into the muggle world. We follow this story through the letters the characters write each other.
1. Chapter 1-preface

_Preface_

London, 16th march 2001

Dear Kingsley,

Might I start with the core issue at stake her? You are crazy! The Wizengamot is crazy! Apparently the whole wizarding UK is crazy!

I mean, a Marriage Law? Seriously? Who even thought of that? What kind of incompetent fools are you employing Kingsley?

We are a tiny community, becoming even smaller due to massive inbreeding, and now you want to make intermarrying obligatory? If you really want to increase the number of magical babies you should do it the other way around, force magical people to procreate with muggles. This is actually a really stupid idea Kingsley! It just shows the lack of any mathematical knowledge the wizarding government apparently possesses. I understand that the wizarding populace is small and is getting even smaller, but this stupid Marriage Law will only make that happen faster.

So I ask you, please Kingsley, please put a stop to this. It is inhumane and it will not even work. There is simply no reason at all to force us to marry, so I beg you, please stop this stupid law.

Yours,

Hermione

London, 22th march 2001

Dear Hermione,

You will be pleased to know that I read your letter and took your arguments into account. After some calculations by a (afterwards obliviated) muggle statistical expert we are now convinced you were right. The only way we can force the magical populace to produce more magical babies is to force wizards to marry muggle women! Thank you for pointing that out, me and my (not that incompetent actually, but we assume you were a bit upset when you wrote your letter) staff made some adjustments to the new law, and we expect to enforce it very soon.

Kind regards,

Kinglsley Skacklebolt,

minister of magic

London, 22th march 2001

Dear Kingsley,

I am happy you listened to me and the statistical evidence (actually, I am amazed you managed to use a muggle science to convince your coworkers, apparently there is still hope for the ministry).

But if you realise the law wouldn't work what do you mean by adjustments? I hope you just put that law in the litter bin where it belongs.

Yours,

Hermione

London, 27th march 2001

Dear Hermione,

Of course we listened to you, you after all very often right.  
And for the adjustments you will just have to wait and see, the new law wil be published in the Daily Prophet on saturday.

Kind regards,

Kinglsey Shacklebolt

minister of magic

London, 31st march 2001

Apperenty Imperiused Kingsley,

What did you do? How will this even work? I let Harry know you are probably under a the Imperius curse, so if you want to know why the aurors just did an extensive check-up, blame me.

I expect to see a withdrawal of this stupid law in the paper on monday.

Your flabbergasted,

Hermione


	2. Chapter 2-the actual first chapter

_Chapter 1_

London, 2nd april 2001

Granger,

I heard at the ministry that you are the apparent reason I will have to marry a muggle within two years and procreate. As this is unacceptable I expect you to correct this issue as soon as possible.

Regards,

Draco Malfoy

. . . . . . . .

London, 3th april 2001

Dear Draco,

I don't know who told you this law has anything to do with me, but I will not take any blame for this idiotic notion of a law. I do not understand why anybody thinks it is right to force people to marry, but I absolutely disagree with the whole concept. I even went to Kinglseys office yesterday to protest, but he would not listen. He even had the guts to tell me it was not my problem, because 'the law only makes wizards marry, witches will get pregnant eventually anyway'. As if a forced marriage of all men is not enough of a violation. Apparently our whole ministry is corrupt and does not understand a single moral principle.

I had the auror office check it (I called in a favour with Harry), but Kingsley and his assistants are not suffering from any curses, so they seem to be working under their own free will.

Sadly, there is nothing else I can don now but object to the law, and I already tried that. If you have any ideas to cancel this law I would love to hear them. For this thing I would even be willing to cooperate with you.

I wish you all the best with finding a muggle girl to marry within the next year.

Kind regards,

Hermione Granger

. . . . . . . .

Londen, 3th april 2001

Granger,

I have it from a reliable source that you were the so called inspiration for this law. So you are to blame, and therefore morally obliged to help me. I did enjoy the visual of the 'inspection' of Kingsley and his aides, but you need to come up with a working plan.

Regards,

Draco Malfoy

. . . . . . . .

London, 3th april 2001

Dear Draco,

I do not accept this blame. The law was not my idea and I tried my best to stop it. I understand your need for a scapegoat, but it will not be me. So you just solve your own problems for a change, or let somebody else do it, but it wont be me.

Kind regards,

Hermione Granger

. . . . . . . .

London, 3th april 2001

Granger,

My source states that you wrote to Kinglsey Shacklebolt and told him the magical birthrate would grow if he forced wizards to marry muggles. So this idea was undeniably yours.

Regards,

Draco Malfoy

. . . . . . . .

London, 4th april 2001

Dear Draco,

What you say is true, but not the whole truth. I actually wrote to Kingsley to object to a marriage law! I just used the idea about marrying juggles to pout out how illogical the idea was. How could he even twist my thinking into another marriage law? So I say we lay the blame with Kingsley Shacklebolt and the ministry, where it should be.

I do feel for you though, do you even know any muggle girls?

Kind regards,

Hermione Granger

. . . . . . . .

London, 5th april 2001

Granger,

Of course I do not know any muggle girls! Who do you think I am? An employee of the Muggle Liaison Office? A halfblood? I have managed to live without any interaction with muggles so far, and I was hoping to keep my life that way.

I do still blame you by the way. Do you know nothing of our ministry? If you give them any idea they will use it to make the world worse. That is just a fact of life, accept it and never give the ministry any ideas again Granger. I repeat (because apparently you need this) they will just abuse any intellectual notion you might happen to have to make life harder.

Regards,

Draco Malfoy

. . . . . . . .

**AN:** Thanks for reading my first (ever) fanfic. I had the idea because I like to read marriage fics, and I wanted to write one with a silly twist. (Even though I am sure the idea has been used before, this is the internet after all.) The rest of the story will focus on Draco's and Hermione's correspondence, mostly between the two of them, but also with other people, so we can see how Draco adapts to the muggle world and to muggle girls.I am curious how you judge the story (and my English, as I am not a native speaker), so I would be very happy with a review.

I am planning to update on a weekly schedule, but as I don't have any experience in this field I can't guarantee that. The short chapters might help in that regard though :P.


	3. Chapter 3 - the second chapter

London, 5th april 2001

Dear Draco,

As you might know, you are not the only pureblood wizard who has to marry a muggle girl. Therefore I have been thinking a lot about how wizards can meet muggle girls. I have made a list with possibilities, based on common ways to meet a partner in the muggle world.

These possibilities are:

-meeting through common friends or acquaintances (do you perhaps know any other people who know muggles?)

-meeting in a bar or other public setting (this one is easy enough to try, in the worst case scenario we just have a drink)

-meeting through some kind of club (do you perhaps like any muggle sports or hobbies?)

-meeting at university (I recognise this means enrolling in a muggle university, but it would also mean meeting girls who are mostly young, fairly intelligent and ambitious)

-meeting at work (but I have my doubts as to whether you would be able to function in a muggle office setting)

Perhaps you can choose one or two options and we can start from there? I suggest we start with going to a bar, go to a beach, have a picnic in a park or do something similar. That is the easiest option and it will allow you to practice your interaction with muggles.

You should know that I have shared my list with some other wizards, such as Ron and his single brothers.

Kind regards,

Hermione

. . . . . . . .

London, 5th april 2001

Dear Hermione,

I am pleased to see that you take this as seriously as you do. You seem to have covered most options in you list. Starting with the easiest options seems the most sensible thing to do. Would you like to make an outing to the muggle world next saturday? As I have never been to a muggle public setting I suggest you choose.

I have been thinking about the sports and hobbies, but i am not exactly sure what muggles actually do in their spare time. Could you give me some suggestions?

Until saturday!

Kind regards,

Draco Malfoy

. . . . . . . .

London, 5th april 2001

Dear Draco,

Saturday suits me just fine. Perhaps we can go and look at some sports and activities you might like to do? And afterwards have dinner in a pub?

Ron has actually found a hobby that wizards and muggles both have, and he enthusiastically started playing in a muggle chess club. Sadly this was a bit of a disappointment, as most members are older men. But he is practising interaction with muggles, which is good in itself. Apparently they are very open to his 'oddities', like not knowing that The Beatles are a band.

Shall we meet up at ten? Do you know where I live? I live close to Hyde Park, the first place I would like to visit with you. Please bring regular muggle clothing to change into after our first activity and wear muggle sporting clothes (trainers, shirt and pants).

See you on saturday!

Kind regards,

Hermione


End file.
